First Dinner Guest

We invited the family to come eat dinner at our house, and they said they'd love to! Yeah! This would be my first dinner guest. Because of the dad's kidney stone the doctor told him he could eat no spicy food for a month (which is very hard to do here). So, the mom and dad reminded me two times each not to make spicy food. I planned to make my Thai curry if I ever had them come for dinner because that's the spiciest meal I make, which is usually a good thing. But, with the request of no spice, I decided on stir fry over rice, and some roti, which is the bread they like to eat with every meal. 

When they arrived I noticed the girls were dressed very nice, and the mom even had on lipstick and a new outfit. I love how they dolled up they get for outings! They liked looking around because they hadn't seen our place since all of the furniture arrived. The kids especially loved playing in Elijah's room and jumping in and out of his bed (Neal and I were not in the room while they were doing that, we just walked in on them). 

I had everyone sit at the table (the two youngest shared a chair so that there would be enough) and told them we were going to eat American style all together. I gave them all a fork, which they don't use often if at all, but told them I also had roti that they could eat their food with. Then I brought out the food, Neal said the blessing, and I told them how we normally ate this meal, but that they could do it anyway they liked. 

The mom served each of the kids and herself while I went around the table giving cucumbers and tomatos to whoever wanted them (they always have cucumbers and tomatos with their meals, so I did as well). The mom served a very small amount to everyone, like the size we serve Elijah. I knew she did this because they'd never had the food before and she didn't want to be wasteful. The dad said it was his first time to have American food and he seemed to be looking forward to it.

Everyone started eating and I noticed that after one or two bites the family was just stirring the food around on their plates and not eating it. They were all looking down and at each other but never looking at Neal or I. Then the dad spoke up and said he didn't like it. He said it was different from Indian food, and to quote him exactly, "I no like, it's different, different food. Don't like it." And that was the end of everyone eating the meal. 

My heart sank inside of me as I bit my bottom lip to help push back the tears that wanted to flood from my eyes. Neal said to me three times, "This is so embarrassing, do we not have any food to serve them that they will eat?" After a little while Neal went into the kitchen and brought out an Indian snack that almost everyone serves guest, but not many people actually eat it themselves because it's just cheap. This day, however, they poured a pile on their plates and used the fork to eat it all.

Neal and I took everyones plate to the kitchen. Neal could tell I was hurt and when he approached me about it to say he was sorry for them not eating I almost lost it. I had to hold in my emotion harder than I remember holding it in before. I told him I had ice cream for desert and some toppings they could pick from. Again he asked if there was anything else I could serve them so that they could eat some food before giving them ice cream. I let out part of what I was feeling to Neal there in the kitchen...I'd worked hours on the meal and used everything I had to serve them...it wasn't my fault they weren't eating, and I felt like it was rude, so no, I didn't have anything else to serve them that was it. I didn't speak much more knowing my insides couldn't take it until they'd left.

We served everyone a bowl full of ice cream and they ate it down to the last drop...I was glad I could give them something they liked. Then we played a couple of hands of UNO before they went home.

Once they were gone I knew the flood gates were going to open. I picked up Elijah, got his bottle ready, and went in his room to rock him to sleep and just cried. All I wanted to do was rock my baby, sing 'The Old Rugged Cross' and cry...and that's what I did. I told the Lord (and Neal later) how I prepared the meal for hours to have it perfect to serve them. Also that I was raised in a family where you eat what is sat before you and you say thank you regardless of if you like it or not, which is what they want their guest to do as well. I knew it would shame them if I rejected their food and after two bites just stirred it around on my plate. However, I always ate their food, regardless of if it's my favorite or even if I liked it, and I always got seconds of something because I knew that pleased the mom. I didn't understand. It hurt so much...and they are my dear friends...I want to serve them and eat at each others house, but that's obviously not going to happen I knew.

After pouring my heart out to the Lord there in the dark of Elijah's room, I began singing 'The Old Rugged Cross' again. I felt a new thankfulness for what Christ did as I listened to the words resounding on my heart that was hurting. "On a hill far away, stood an old rugged cross, the emblem of suffering and shame..." My hurt, suffering, shame, was nothing compared to Jesus'. It made me "...cherish the old rugged cross..." so much more. 

Dinner on the Floor

Although it's very cultural to sit on the floor on top of a mat for dinner here, we had not experienced it yet. Every time we would go to the family's house for dinner they would have us sit at the table with the dad and some of the guest if they had people over, or with the dad and the younger kids if it was just the family. The mom and older daughters never sit to eat with us. They always serve and refill the food to make sure we are well taken care of, and then eat later. Such hospitality!

This day, while our friends were with us, the dinner was a little different than usual. The mom had invited her mother, who visits often, and two of her sisters to come over. Then the dinner was served on the mat on the floor. I was a little surprised, but very pleased. This day the mom and her sisters sat and ate with us as well. I told the mom I was glad she was eating when she wanted me to eat. Her meal was very small though because she said she wanted to eat the rest when her mother did, who was watching the kids.

 There was a big spread of food - quite a variety.

Our two friends from Mexico (left picture, first two girls on the left side) were having their fill of food for sure. It's very cultural for Indians to continue insisting that you eat more food. It makes them feel very good and honored when you enjoy what they've served. However, there can be a limit,  and the family knows what mine (a little) and Neal's (a lot) is. Our friends, though, were being very kind and felt bad saying no...so the limit was pressed, but they enjoyed it.

We'd taught some of the kids how to play UNO and they loved it! It became popular so quickly that everyone in the house was sitting on or gathered round the bed either playing or watching in order to learn. We had about 10 people playing before we were finished. I think this will become a regular game for all of us.

Henna

We had two girls visiting from Mexico who stayed with us for a week. During their stay we wanted them to meet the family we lived with and get a real cultural experience. Upon arriving at our friends house we discovered the dad was in the hospital with a kidney stone, which was why he hadn't met Neal for dinner the night before. The mom was going back to the hospital while the grandmother stayed the night with the kids, so our visit that day would be cut short. However, before we left the oldest daughter decided to do henna on me and my two friends since none of us had ever had it done. She's only 14 years old, but she's so good at doing henna you'd think she was a professional. 

They invited us to come back and eat dinner with them once their dad got home and before our friends left.

Father's Day

We decided to go to Delhi for the weekend of Father's Day to have a little break, and to do something special for Neal. It was a really fun weekend. For Neal's big day Elijah and I let him do whatever he wanted...so he went to the gym and then took a long shower while I took Elijah to shop for a couple of things we still needed for the house. Later we went to eat at Chili's so that Neal could get a big hamburger, since that's something he misses and craves a lot.

During our stay we of course went swimming.

While we were in Delhi we went to Mother Care, which is like a mini Babies R Us. We like to look around to see if there's something little to get for Elijah. Whenever we're considering something we hold it in front of him to see if it's something he likes, or if he just likes the tag. Not that you can honestly ever really tell. This particular day, however, I just held this bear us, actually not something we were planning to buy, I just thought it was cute. When he saw the bear his whole face lit up and he wrapped both arms around it and squeezed it so tight (it's the first time he's ever been around an stuffed animal his size). He's never done that with anything before, so Neal and I just had to buy it. 

Watching Elijah really blessed Neal and I. 

All in all Neal seemed to have a good Father's Day.

The Intersection Park

One night while visiting the family they asked if we wanted to go to the park after dinner. We started walking down the street in the direction of the park where Neal, Elijah and I like to go. She asked if this was the park I went to when I went walking and I of course said yes it was. Then we discussed how much we enjoyed this park and how I was surprised it was open at night, etc. 

As we approached the grassy median in the middle of the intersection I started walking around it in the direction I would normally go to get to the park. Oddly, they started walking toward the median, so I thought we were just going to walk through as a shortcut. Little did I know...when we stepped onto the grassy area the daughter turned to me and said, "Isn't this nice...it's the University Park." To my astonishment this little area surrounded my the roundabout in the street was filled with people sitting, laughing, and hanging out. 'Park' isn't quite the word I'd use to describe the place, but it was fun with the family none the less. 

Neal, the dad, and the two youngest kids all played tag. It was a hot night, so when they were finished they took a rest on the only bench like spot in the 'park'. 

Us women sat and watched as they played tag. Elijah was our entertainment (keeping him from eating the grass).

Then the second daughter took Elijah to play tag with the younger kids. They ran around the center monument like they were running away from Elijah...he loved it!

Elijah Loves to Look Out the Window

Here at our new apartment Elijah loves to stand on our new couches and look out the window at the trees and sky. Where we used to live, when you looked out of the windows you would only see cement - the cement shaft, or walkway and wall of the family's house. That helped keep things a little cooler, but it was also very sad to see nothing else. Here at our new place, however, you have a view from all windows - trees, grass, other buildings, the street with cars, rickshaws, bikes, and people, etc. There's such a contrast between the two places. We miss living right beside the family we are so close to, but we thank God for providing a new home for us, one that really feels like home. 

Elijah Playing Around the Coffee Table

Elijah has enjoyed our new coffee table! He loves to crawl under it, and pull up on it and bang the top.