Sha's Sister

"Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn."

Romans 12:15

Four weeks ago, "Sha," the woman who cleans our house, brought her youngest (of 6) sisters along with her to help clean. She explained how her sister had been married for six months and already pregnant with her first baby. The excitement that initially soared through me was quickly halted when she went on to say that her sister was only 14, and was basically a baby herself, even loosing one of her baby teeth just days before. Her family is very poor and therefore when their daughters, seven in all, come "of age" they marry them off. The mom was married at the age of 12, Sha the age of 14, and now the youngest at the age of 14 as well. 

With marriage comes responsibility, which we all know. Once a woman who's poor gets married she usually starts working, such as cleaning homes, helping on construction sights, etc. Sha's sister was no exception, even at the young age of 14. 

When they found out she was pregnant her family sent she and her husband from the village to live here in Garden City under her sister's supervision. The medical doctors and hospitals are better here than where her family is from, and work is as well.

Two or three different days I (and Neal one day) had the opportunity to pray with Sha's sister's for her healing and protection over the baby because she wasn't feeling good. Obviously, being a mom of three I understand the pains that periodically come with pregnancy, so I've been eager to pray for her. 

Two days ago when Sha and her sister arrived they explained all the pains her sister had been having on her sides and in her stomach. They showed me the pills a doctor had given her, which they weren't happy with because they hadn't made her feel better. I asked if the doctor knew she was pregnant and if the medicine was ok for the baby. Yes, yes madam was her response. (Although I knew they hadn't asked the doctor anything, just took what he gave.) However, they planned to go back to the same doctor who did her scan (ultrasound) to have him check her.

For whatever reason, when she mentioned returning to the same doctor who'd done her scan I had a bad feeling in my spirit. I felt like I should make sure to push for the baby's life to be protected. Then I also thought surely the doctor would plan to protect the baby, especially since she was six months pregnant. Neal and I prayed for her that she and the baby would be healed and ok. Before they left and I told her that I desired for her to feel better and the baby to be okay.

Norah playing with Sha

Every Sunday Sha has a holiday from cleaning our house. So, when Monday morning came and she arrived, she was alone. She seemed a little down cast and I asked if she was ok. She told me that her sister wasn't doing good and she was in the hospital because she'd had an abortion. "What?," I asked. "Who told her to do that?" She explained how they went to the doctor for him to check her and he told her that she wasn't doing too good and the baby wasn't either. He went on to say that there could be a problem with the baby's heart and she needed to have an abortion to help her life. He required payment in full before the procedure, which was around $400, which is a LOT of money for this family. So, they listened, and four different family members chipped in to pay, including Sha who used all the money she'd saved for her oldest sons schooling. Then at four o'clock yesterday she went in to have it done. 

So many emotions raged inside of me!! I stood there beside the sink where Sha was cleaning and couldn't help but just cry. A sadness and anger filled me at the same time. Sadness for the loss of this precious baby's life. Sadness for the decision made that couldn't be reversed. Sadness for the wound this will create inside Sha's sister. Sadness that her sister won't know the joy I know and the joy she was beginning to experience when she'd interact with Norah. Sadness because she doesn't yet know Jesus, so she doesn't have the comforter to walk with her through this. Sadness because you don't question doctors here, but just do whatever they say, even if it completely alters your life. 

Anger. Anger because doctors don't care. Anger because doctors don't value life and are quick to take it as a quick fix for a woman's pain. Anger because everyone just does what a doctor says without questioning. Anger because a baby's life had just been taken. Anger because Sha didn't stand up and help her 14 year old sister and say no to what the doctor suggested. Anger because I've heard the pain that abortion causes in a woman's heart and the years it takes, even strong believers, to process and seek healing in Christ, and still usually not forgiving themselves. Anger because of sin and depravity. I'm thankful that God will judge and bring justice! 

Sha told me that her sister cried and cried a lot. Then she asked me why I was crying because it wasn't my problem. I told her my heart hurt for the baby and her sister. I told her that next time there's a problem like that to come to me before she listens to some doctor. Come to me because we will pray in the name of Jesus and God has the power to heal her sister and the baby. We talked about the pain that comes during pregnancy, which is normal and sometimes can last the whole nine months. However, after the baby is born it's ok, so why this?

Then I went on to tell Sha that "God gives life and makes the baby inside the mom. God is also the one who can heal the baby. The doctor isn't God!" She agreed with this. I went on, "But, the doctor thinks he's god when he says to kill the baby, he's acting like god. But he's not God and they don't have to listen to what he says." 

After our conversation it was really somber. I asked Sha if I could go see her sister in the hospital before she was released and headed back to the village. Sha told me it was too far for me to go visit, but she'd let me talk to her on the phone if I wanted to. We talked and I told her I was sorry about her baby and I prayed for healing for her body and heart. I gave Sha the phone again and she told her I'd been crying and my heart hurt... 

Then I went into my room and wept. I felt quite responsible since I had the feeling in my spirit that the baby might be harmed. I felt like I was responsible in not helping to protect the baby's life because I didn't speak up more. I'm not sure why I didn't press it and tell her over and over again to make sure that no one harmed her baby. Neal embraced me and told me that it's not my fault. My heart carries these people and it's so heavy when their lives are heavy. 

Call them to Jesus Lord!